you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
