took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
