My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
