If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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