i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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