He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
