I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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