think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
