Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
