Your mouth is God's brothel.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
