wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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