I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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