Sry I called you an 8
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
