The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
