i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
