Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
