Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
