Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
