Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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