Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
