I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
