accomplished twins. life is a go
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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