I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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