his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize