i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
