just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize