So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
