sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you win again, gameday.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
