His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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