It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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