She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
