Porn is love you can see.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
