Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
