creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
