Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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