You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
