Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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