it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
