He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
