You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize