I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
