So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
