She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
