have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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