You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
