I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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