I accidentally had phone sex last night
Who did Billy Mays play for?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize