i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
