I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
