The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
