So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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