You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
