And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So squirting runs in the family.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
