She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
