you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
