i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
