glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
