His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
