The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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