im having a threesome with these popsicles
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
