they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
