i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
