Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
